Sorry guys but sometimes I seem a little bias because I would like to be a voice for the ladies. I am autodidact when it comes to counseling as well as very flamboyant with my conversation!
One interesting conversation with a dear friend, (I want say their name)
brought me to this wonderful subject. Like to Hear it - Here it Goes!!
For all my married people out there, this one is for you!
Is you Marriage a Company you will like to work for?
How often do you get raises and promotions at this company?
If your spouse was your boss how long will you work for that particular person?
I will stop there! All of these are question you all need to ask yourself when you are involved in a marriage. The questions, if answered to your likings are way's you can have a successful marriage. Let's just say it can be something like a prenuptial agreement to have through out the whole marriage.
Since majority of people like to say Marriage is a Job you need to treat your marriage like it is a job! I will list some examples below that will be mind blowing:
First Example:
Keep in mind that your spouse is your boss. In this case lol (laugh out loud) we will use the male figure as the boss. lol
<Sorry guys!>
A great boss for me is someone that is considerate of all your personal needs, let you slide on some things you shouldn't be doing like hmm running late, see the potential you have and not just want the best for you but give you a chance to take classes that the company offer to better your skills. Let's not forget Bonuses for all your achievements, let's be fair and say once a year!
Is your husband doing this?
If not, that can mean that he can be an inconsiderate person that is always complaining, never let you slide on a mistake like hmmm - picking him up late from work, and never see the potential you have. Example: If you are a woman with some kind of hidden talent like let's say writing poetry or something. A great boss will actually see that potential in you or -- Ask is there anything else you will like to do at this company? Some husbands do not want to see their wife full potential. Which in my opinion is a way of him controlling the lady. A confident boss/husband will have no problem having their spouse complete their dreams and goals nor would he think once this employee does get all the training they need its a big chance they will leave the company and try and work for a better company. The boss hired this employee/spouse because he seen the potential she had for this position and others in the future that may arise. This confident man would not ever think or worry that she would up and leave the company due to her being very Appreciative/Loyal to Marriage/Company for helping her reach this full potential. You all get where I am going with this!!
We all know its a fact that the only thing man want us to learn is better or more bedroom/sex behavior.
We all know most man want to be fully satisfied in the bedroom. That is the only class they will actually pay for. A Sex Class! Why you ask - because it is beneficial for them and whatever is beneficial to them is all that matters. Some"Bosses" don't even consider this a reason to get a bonus!
Ladies its time for a damn Bonus and its time for you to work with a Boss/Spouse that would have you reach your full potential in your Marriage/Company!
Second Example:
The company should offer great benefits as well as great pay.
When you are married for let's say 5 years and been at a company for 5 years - Would you expect to have the same benefits you had since day one? Meaning, in a marriage from day one, your benefits will consist of having a loving husband, a man that can do manly things like fix flat tires, pay bills, things that Man can do that woman need assistance with, (Ex: change tires) along with the benefit's of great sex. Right - Righht.
That was the reason you married the guy right, he was nice, sweet, if you had a flat tire he ran to your rescue, and do not forget the fact that he made you feel like no one else could.
At a company the benefits just don't cut out just because you been there for a while. They are good for as long as you are an Active Employee. Since you are still an Active Employee - in your marriage, you shouldn't just up and loose the benefit of having a loving husband, all of a sudden. After 5 years at this company things just started going down hill. The boss/husband is always mad about something, raising his voice at you all the time, and stop doing his manly duties. You caught a flat and he have the nerve to say you can't ask nobody where you at to fix it, and last but not least don't even provide orgasm's anymore. It's just sex! Ehhh... You remember the benefit of him going out his way to make sure you were pleased in and out of bed!!!
Now the Pay!
You wanted to work for this company because they offered great pay. It is only natural this great company will offer you a raise once a year. Same Example: You been at this company for 5 years, you should not be making the same pay you made from day one. Okay, breaking it down - If you all were staying in a duplex apartment when you first became married (cause we know sometime times it can be hard at the begininning lol) and after 5 years of marriage you are still in that damn duplex apartment. Oh Hell No! Your "Boss" didn't do anything to change your living arrangements - That is a problem. Now, for my ladies that is married to a man where money is not an object and started off with a 5 karat ring, and after 5 years he haven't upgraded you to another karat. Or he will not allow you to have that baby you been wanting since day one.
That can be a problem!
Some man seem to get bored after a while and start treating their spouse like they are an illegal immigrant, that should be happy that they even have a job!! That is Not Acceptable Ladies! You are worthy enough to be treated better! Do not accept this behavior because he didn't act like that when he was trying to get you to marry him. If you are one of the ladies that was treated horribly before you were married and thought he would change once you married. This blog is not for you, go on and logg off now. But please come back because I will have another blog soon for your type.
Seriously, if this was your place of employment you would not accept it there. Especially, if you have sick kids and can not take them to a doctor to get seen because the Company have cancelled your benefits.
Third Example and Last Example:
Back to these Bosses/Husbands
Remember, people say your marriage is like a job, you are suppose to work at it! First day of work and your new Boss at the job was all that you imagined. Then after let's say, 3 years into the marriage he has became very disrespectful and controlling. How long can you accept this behavior at a company? -- Would you have lasted for over 3 years at this place of employment? Yes, in some cases we do need the money to pay these bills but be honest with yourself and say - that was not the first company I applied for and it won't be the last company (especially if they keep this up). You would not have stayed working for that man if he was talking to you like that since day one. You may have lasted for 6 months, maybe even over a year but after about 2 years or so, most woman patience get short. You do not talk to your employee any type of way and if your boss does, you are suppose to shut that down from day one. A man will only do what you let him do!!
Termination Rights
It's never too late to put in a 2 week notice! In fact, most Companies make you sign the form that explains the right for them to TERMINATE the Employee at any given time, for no reason at all. Keep that in mind, you are still eligible for unemployment/alimony or child support. But the matter of the case is that either you can be Terminated or you can put in a 2 Week Notice or hell just walk off the job!! If the boss/husband is not treating you with respect and you have had several conversations and send emails explaining how he need to treat you better and he has disregarded every one - for all this time. He deserve a wake up call. During this time ladies do not be ashamed or discouraged! Know your worth - if he is smart, he will be back but as a changed man with a better attitude and much more appreciative to what he have. I heard a quote from my dear husband (hey baby!) That says: Why would you let the bird in your hand go, just to catch the other two in the bush? You were not able to catch the other two and now you stuck with no birds! Hold on to the one you have tight, especially if they are an good employee. No one is perfect but with a little help and if one is willing to learn - you can get there.... Seniority should mean something right!
I just wanted to list a few examples here, look forward to my book!! My readers should be smart enough to understand where I am coming from. If you still do not get it: The moral to my blog is that is marriage is like a job, word is, you have to work at it so it can get better. You should be rewarded periodically for this life journey. The Spouse/Boss should give you reason's to make you want to work at the Company/Marriage. Here are some examples of some rewards the spouse can offer: new hand bag she been dreaming of, jazzy heels, money to get your hair done, or little things are accepted as well, like a day off from the kids, or a beautiful card saying how much you mean to them!!
Your marriage shouldn't never be dull and unexciting and it should never change from the spark you both had at the day of your wedding date. If it does, sit back and see what you can do better. Most companies offer Performance Reviews every 6 month's or so. Try that out! Each one of you have a sit down and discuss the things you are doing and the things that can get better. Yes, just like at a job communication is the key. Like my mother always said " A close mouth don't get fed." (Shelia G) So, COMMUNICATE and Do Things Ladies, so that you can get an Great Performance Award for. Marriage is not never to be confused with Prison!! It is not fair, get out and live your life because you only have one life to live!!
OKAY OKAY, MY FINGERS ARE TIRED!! I love you all and thank you for tuning in to this long blog!
Remember, if you have any questions or comments feel free to ASK CLARE!!
