Laughing never hurt nobody

Ladies I will first like to Introduce myself. My name is Clareissa and I will be your go to girl for years to come. I have been there and done many things and I want to help ladies to turn the other Cheek. Ask Clare will be here very soon! Okay, lets talk about these woman that spend there whole life trying to change these man. Don’t be that lady! Been there done that! You need a man that’s already cooked all you have to do is warm his azz up. Put him on an instant minute and he’s ret to go! That is what I call an Microwave Man. Examples are here upon request.. Okay, I will stop now to see how this blogging thing works. I am kind of new to this. Feel free to Ask Clare— anything!




Hell No I don't want to have your Damn Baby!!

 Lets talk ladies, please do not trick yourself into believing a baby will keep a man. That is not the case. In a matter of fact, a baby can make you loose a man. Let's be real, some man, not all, some man do not know how to handle change and we all know being pregnant and having an baby bring's change to a relationship.

Every woman is not equipped to carry a baby and still be sexy at the same time. Especially, when that 7 and 8 month hit you. By then, the woman body is all stretched out of shape, breast hanging full of heavy milk, and you are not tolerant for any bull crap. Do you think your upcoming baby daddy will accept this change or be patient enough to put up with your attitude? If you are not sure ladies -  Do your home work? Some of these dog ass, inconsiderate ass man will try and leave you around this time to find a much more attractive woman and ease back to you when it is time for the baby to arrive -- if your lucky.

Don't forget about the 6 to 8 week waiting period after the baby is born and sex is not allowed!! Will your man wait the full 6 to 8 weeks or will his selfish ass try to get in where he fit in after about hmmm 2 to 3 weeks? Uhm hum,,, you are not for sure huh!! Do your home work? You would think that he will show some compassion since it wasn't too long ago  you just pushed out a baby and you are bleeding every where lol... I know TMI (too much information)..

Okay, okay,, If you are one of the ladies  for a fact you have a good man or for my man that are tuning in -- know you are a good man. Hand of Applause to You! But before we clap, Can you afford this baby? If you are not for sure - Do your home work? Those Huggies and baby Wipes are not getting any cheaper!!

Clare is only trying to open up most ladies eyes, that's all. Don't be trying to judge me lol!! No for real, some man do a great job tricking ladies into having their kids and the ladies are caught in the moment. Hopefully, you want be one of the ladies that will be caught in the moment after you read this.

Reason being -
 If you really do believe if you get pregnant by this man you all will live happily ever after, you have another thing coming!
If you think, he will leave his wife because you are pregnant, you have another thing coming!
If you think, if I have this baby I won't never have to work again because this man is rich, your dumb ass really have another thing coming because that is just Wrong and God do not sleep!

Just be smart ladies and don't forget your comment's are always welcome!

Oh, and if you are a lady that had been caught up already, don't feel bad. I have another blog coming soon about how to handle their inconsiderate asses!!

Is Your Marriage a Company you Want to Work For

Hi Ladies Clare is Back with a Blog that's Very Interesting and Funny!

Sorry guys but sometimes I seem a little bias because I would like to be a voice for the ladies. I am autodidact when it comes to counseling as well as very flamboyant with my conversation!

One interesting conversation with a dear friend, (I want say their name)
 brought me to this wonderful subject. Like to Hear it - Here it Goes!!

For all my married people out there, this one is for you!

Is you Marriage a Company you will like to work for?
How often do you get raises and promotions at this company?
If your spouse was your boss how long will you work for that particular person?

I will stop there! All of these are question you all need to ask yourself when you are involved in a marriage. The questions, if answered to your likings are way's you can have a successful marriage. Let's just say it can be something like a prenuptial agreement to have through out the whole marriage.

Since majority of people like to say Marriage is a Job you need to treat your marriage like it is a job! I will list some examples below that will be mind blowing:

First Example:

Keep in mind that your spouse is your boss. In this case lol (laugh out loud) we will use the male figure as the boss. lol
<Sorry guys!> 

A great boss for me is someone that is considerate of all your personal needs, let you slide on some things you shouldn't be doing like hmm running late, see the potential you have and not just want the best for you but give you a chance to take classes that the company offer to better your skills. Let's not forget Bonuses for all your achievements, let's be fair and say once a year!

Is your husband doing this?

 If not, that can mean that he can be an inconsiderate person that is always complaining, never let you slide on a mistake like hmmm -  picking him up late from work, and never see the potential you have. Example: If you are a woman with some kind of hidden talent like let's say writing poetry or something. A great boss will actually see that potential in you or -- Ask is there anything else you will like to do at this company?  Some husbands do not want to see their wife full potential. Which in my opinion is a way of him controlling the lady. A confident boss/husband will have no problem having their spouse complete their dreams and goals nor would he think once this employee does get all the training they need its a big chance they will leave the company and try and work for a better company. The boss hired this employee/spouse because he seen the potential she had for this position and others in the future that may arise. This confident man would not ever think or worry that she would up and leave the company due to her being very Appreciative/Loyal to Marriage/Company  for helping her reach this full potential. You all get where I am going with this!!

We all know its a fact that the only thing man want us to learn is better or more bedroom/sex behavior.
 We all know most man want to be fully satisfied in the bedroom. That is the only class they will actually pay for. A Sex Class! Why you ask - because it is beneficial for them and whatever is beneficial to them is all that matters. Some"Bosses" don't even consider this a reason to get a bonus!

Ladies its time for a damn Bonus and its time for you to work with a Boss/Spouse that would have you reach your full potential in your Marriage/Company!

Second Example:

The company should offer great benefits as well as great pay.

When you are married for let's say 5 years and been at a company for 5 years - Would you expect to have the same benefits you had since day one? Meaning, in a marriage from day one, your benefits will consist of having a loving husband, a man that can do manly things like fix flat tires, pay bills, things that Man can do that woman need assistance with, (Ex: change tires) along with the benefit's of great sex. Right - Righht.

That was the reason you married the guy right, he was nice, sweet, if you had a flat tire he ran to your rescue, and do not forget the fact that he made you feel like no one else could.

 At a company the benefits just don't cut out just because you been there for a while. They are good for as long as you are an Active Employee. Since you are still an Active Employee - in your marriage,  you shouldn't just up and loose the benefit of having a loving husband, all of a sudden. After 5 years at this company things just started going down hill. The boss/husband is always mad about something, raising his voice at you all the time, and stop doing his manly duties. You caught a flat and he have the nerve to say you can't ask nobody where you at to fix it,  and last but not least don't even provide orgasm's anymore. It's just sex! Ehhh... You remember the benefit of him going out his way to make sure you were pleased in and out of bed!!!

Now the Pay!

You wanted to work for this company because they offered great pay. It is only natural this great company will offer you a raise once a year. Same Example: You been at this company for 5 years, you should not be making the same pay you made from day one. Okay, breaking it down - If you all were staying in a duplex apartment when you first became married (cause we know sometime times it can be hard at the begininning lol) and after 5 years of marriage you are still in that damn duplex apartment. Oh Hell No! Your "Boss" didn't do anything to change your living arrangements - That is a problem. Now, for my ladies that is married to a man where money is not an object and started off with a 5 karat ring, and after 5 years he haven't upgraded you to another karat. Or he will not allow you to have that baby you been wanting since day one.           

That can be a problem!

Some man seem to get bored after a while and start treating their spouse like they are an illegal immigrant,  that should be happy that they even have a job!! That is Not Acceptable Ladies! You are worthy enough to be treated better! Do not accept this behavior because he didn't act like that when he was trying to get you to marry him. If you are one of the ladies that was treated horribly before you were married and thought he would change once you married. This blog is not for you, go on and logg off now. But please come back because I will have another blog soon for your type. 

 Seriously, if this was your place of employment you would not accept it there. Especially, if you have sick kids and can not take them to a doctor to get seen because the Company have cancelled your benefits.
Third Example and Last Example:

Back to these Bosses/Husbands

Remember, people say your marriage is like a job, you are suppose to work at it!   First day of work and your new Boss at the job was all that you imagined.  Then after let's say,  3 years into the marriage he has became very disrespectful and controlling. How long can you accept this behavior at a company? -- Would you have lasted for over 3 years at this place of employment? Yes, in some cases we do need the money to pay these bills but be honest with yourself and say - that was not the first company I applied for and it won't be the last company (especially if they keep this up). You would not have stayed working for that man if he was talking to you like that since day one. You may have lasted for 6 months, maybe even over a year but after about 2 years or so,  most woman patience get short. You do not talk to your employee any type of way and if your boss does, you are suppose to shut that down from day one. A man will only do what you let him do!!

                                          Termination Rights

It's never too late to put in a 2 week notice! In fact, most Companies make you sign the form that explains the right for them to TERMINATE the Employee at any given time,  for no reason at all. Keep that in mind, you are still eligible for unemployment/alimony or child support. But the matter of the case is that either you can be Terminated or you can put in a 2 Week Notice or hell just walk off the job!! If the boss/husband is not treating you with respect and you have had several conversations and send emails explaining how he need to treat you better and he has disregarded every one - for all this time. He deserve a wake up call. During this time ladies do not be ashamed or discouraged! Know your worth -  if he is smart, he will be back but as a changed man with a better attitude and much more appreciative to what he have.   I heard a quote from my dear husband (hey baby!) That says: Why would you let the bird in your hand go, just to catch the other two in the bush? You were not able to catch the other two and now you stuck with no birds! Hold on to the one you have tight, especially if they are an good employee. No one is perfect but with a little help and if one is willing to learn - you can get there....  Seniority should mean something right!

I just wanted to list a few examples here, look forward to my book!!  My readers should be smart enough to understand where I am coming from. If you still do not get it: The moral to my blog is that is marriage is like a job, word is, you have to work at it so it can get better. You should be rewarded periodically for this life journey.  The Spouse/Boss should give you reason's to make you want to work at the Company/Marriage.  Here are some examples of some rewards the spouse can offer: new hand bag she been dreaming of, jazzy heels, money to get your hair done, or little things are accepted as well,  like a day off from the kids, or a beautiful card saying how much you mean to them!!

Your marriage shouldn't never be dull and unexciting and it should never change from the spark you both had at the day of your wedding date. If it does,  sit back and see what you can do better. Most companies offer Performance Reviews every 6 month's or so. Try that out! Each one of you have a sit down and discuss the things you are doing and the things that can get better. Yes,  just like at a job communication is the key. Like my mother always said " A close mouth don't get fed." (Shelia G) So, COMMUNICATE and Do Things Ladies, so that you can get an Great Performance Award for. Marriage is not never to be confused with Prison!! It is not fair,  get out and live your life because you only have one life to live!!

OKAY OKAY, MY FINGERS ARE TIRED!! I love you all and thank you for tuning in to this long blog!
Remember, if you have any questions or comments feel free to ASK CLARE!!

OOOOH I Want to Have your Baby!!

Hell No I don't want to have your Damn Baby!!

 Lets talk ladies, please do not trick yourself into believing a baby will keep a man. That is not the case. In a matter of fact, a baby can make you loose a man. Let's be real, some man, not all, some man do not know how to handle change and we all know being pregnant and having an baby bring's change to a relationship.

Every woman is not equipped to carry a baby and still be sexy at the same time. Especially, when that 7 and 8 month hit you. By then, the woman body is all stretched out of shape, breast hanging full of heavy milk, and you are not tolerant for any bull crap. Do you think your upcoming baby daddy will accept this change or be patient enough to put up with your attitude? If you are not sure ladies -  Do your home work? Some of these dog ass, inconsiderate ass man will try and leave you around this time to find a much more attractive woman and ease back to you when it is time for the baby to arrive -- if your lucky.

Don't forget about the 6 to 8 week waiting period after the baby is born and sex is not allowed!! Will your man wait the full 6 to 8 weeks or will his selfish ass try to get in where he fit in after about hmmm 2 to 3 weeks? Uhm hum,,, you are not for sure huh!! Do your home work? You would think that he will show some compassion since it wasn't too long ago  you just pushed out a baby and you are bleeding every where lol... I know TMI (too much information)..

Okay, okay,, If you are one of the ladies  for a fact you have a good man or for my man that are tuning in -- know you are a good man. Hand of Applause to You! But before we clap, Can you afford this baby? If you are not for sure - Do your home work? Those Huggies and baby Wipes are not getting any cheaper!!

Clare is only trying to open up most ladies eyes, that's all. Don't be trying to judge me lol!! No for real, some man do a great job tricking ladies into having their kids and the ladies are caught in the moment. Hopefully, you want be one of the ladies that will be caught in the moment after you read this.

Reason being -
 If you really do believe if you get pregnant by this man you all will live happily ever after, you have another thing coming!
If you think, he will leave his wife because you are pregnant, you have another thing coming!
If you think, if I have this baby I won't never have to work again because this man is rich, your dumb ass really have another thing coming because that is just Wrong and God do not sleep!

Just be smart ladies and don't forget your comment's are always welcome!

Oh, and if you are a lady that had been caught up already, don't feel bad. I have another blog coming soon about how to handle their inconsiderate asses!!

Wrap It Up

Remember I am very blunt so if you are offended by any of my comments I do apologize. Do not stop tuning in, I am sure to have something that will excite you at one point in time.

Okay, now that - that is out of the way-- WRAP IT UP,, THE BABIES THAT IS!! I am so sick and tired of these woman playing show and tell with these ugly ass NEWBORNS. Damn it to Hell! Wrap it Up! I know everyone would like to think there baby is (showable) but hell sorry to say sometimes this is not the case. Now, this do not mean your child will NOT grow into there looks and you have to spend a lifetime Wrapping It Up. But until you can get things in order and they grow into that big head or skinny ass legs, please spare me and everyone the Agony! Do you like when people lie in your face? If not, then just please wrap the babies up from here on out.

Okay, Okay don't get me wrong money can change any babies looks. Grown up looks too. Look -- How many people came into money and had plastic surgery, brought nice expensive clothes, and high class vehicles? Let's be honest if you seen a man or woman that is big and ugly with expensive diamonds and clothes or getting out of a expensive vehicle and they spoke to you, you will more than likely speak back. RIGHT,, okay same equation but this time when you seen them they jumped out of a old school dented up car, with rags on, and had an odor -- you are more than likely to turn your nose up! Be Honest! Ladies and Man I know you are so proud of your newborn's and you have to just show somebody, keep it in the family okay. Reason why is because more than likely they look just like the damn baby and they would think he or she is the cutest thing ever! Ugly people never think they are ugly for some reason! I don't know!!

Once he or she grow into those looks feel free to Take Off The Wrap!

Comments are always acceptable. I can dish it and take it so feel free to give me your thoughts!!

If you seen an ugly baby in the past how did you respond?

Kids -- are they for you or against you

Kids can be a blessing and a curse at the same time. How many kids you know grow up and despise their parents or even worse kill them. Are these kids you are making going to be for you or against you? Right now my 2 year old is running around banging on doors, kicking her siblings in their head, screaming at the top of her lungs for her brother to give her the pencil, and just been a terrible two.

Should I:

A) Call her downstairs and ask her to please do not do that, and explain, its not nice to do those things and make all that noise.
B) Go upstairs and sit her on the couch and put on Nick Jr and hope that the cartoon calm her down
C) Return the favors that she is giving out upstairs! That means I will run up the stairs, kick her in the head lol, and scream at her to sit her behind down and don't move a finger.

I know what you are saying, and thinking but right now that don't matter since I am the one blogging. Instead of telling you the correct option, I will just leave it up to my readers. But I will say this - Don't let a child act like a grown up. Do not let your kids run all over you because it can turn from a toddler acting an azz to and adult acting an azz. As a parent it's your job to inform your kids whats right and whats wrong. Screaming is never appropriate along with putting any of their body parts on another human being.

I pay the cost to be the boss so inside my household I be damn if a child raise their voice higher than a normal 2 year old voice should go and I am going to leave it at that.

Which option are you?

Microwave Man

Ladies I will first like to Introduce myself. My name is Clareissa and I will be your go to girl for years to come. I have been there and done many things and I want to help ladies to turn the other Cheek. Ask Clare will be here very soon! Okay, lets talk about these woman that spend there whole life trying to change these man. Don’t be that lady! Been there done that! You need a man that’s already cooked all you have to do is warm his azz up. Put him on an instant minute and he’s ret to go! That is what I call an Microwave Man. Examples are here upon request.. Okay, I will stop now to see how this blogging thing works. I am kind of new to this. Feel free to Ask Clare— anything!